I am, generally speaking, a pretty cheerful and upbeat kinda guy. Over the course of my 66-years; while there have been plenty of nasty things occur, those incidents were far enough apart to allow a measure of healing before the next trauma appeared. The first one I recall was when JFK was assassinated. I was 8-years old and still remember every detail. Vietnam just seemed to go on forever, so I never appreciated how horrific it really was until years later. In my mind, Columbine was the beginning of the bigger and more senseless pain. Mass shootings now had a benchmark that someone is always trying to raise. 9/11. To paraphrase Charles Dickens; It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Nothing tore us apart—or brought us together again as a country like that day. The recession was the next stab in the heart for so many who ended up losing it all. From there to the election in 2016, things started (or appeared to be) leveling out, with one major exception. The country was moving in entirely different directions with little chance of either side reconciling. 2017-2019. I felt a sense of numbness. You were on one side or the other with absolutely no middle ground. It was impossible to embrace any ideals from the “other-side” lest it make you look like a traitor—or imbecile, you choose. I look back on that period now with almost a sense of sad nostalgia. 2020, and it’s evil twin 2021, have brought anxiety and dare I say, a sense of helplessness to the party. I stopped months ago saying (or even thinking) it couldn’t conceivably get worse and hoped it wouldn’t—and then we get Afghanistan, which lead me to this post. I have voiced my “Thanks” to our military over the years through social media and the occasional “thank you” to a passing soldier. Probably more for me wanting to think I am a patriotic American than truly feeling what I say, and now realizing how hollow my words actually were. Watching everything unfold in Kabul from the comfort of my easy-chair while listening to our leaders and their senseless explanation for it happening finally struck a nerve. And an understanding. I have never been in the military, nor have I ever considered it. My patriotism had become more of an entitlement. “I’m an American”, so I should have a better life. And as an American, I should bitch about what I have, or more importantly, what right someone says they want to take away. I won’t have to fight for it though, they (our soldiers) will. In our local communities we get civil unrest so we send the National Guard, storm our nations capital, send some police. That’s local of course, so what happens when the conflict is global? Simple, send our troops, they’ll fix it. What I have finally come to understand now has made me both sad and angry. Sad that I didn’t really, I mean really appreciate the sacrifice of our men and women in uniform, and angry that they were left to clean-up a no-win situation. I believe our solders are loyal only to our country and not a political agenda. Personally, they may question many decisions, like every American has the right to do, but publicly they do not debate reason, or even if it is wrong or right, they are there to protect American citizens and their interests. If your leader tells you to walk into the river, you go. Build roads, sewer-lines, and communication for our allies, you do it, because an American leader tells you to do it, you do it. They are not there to debate, only to make it happen. The bigger epiphany for me has been was how truly fortunate we, as a country are, to have the troops we do. Simply stated, our military is the absolute best. The problem in my opinion is our leaders haven’t been, and our troops pay the ultimate price because of that fact. One last thought—As we debate voter rights, we better make damn sure everyone of our military gets their vote counted. And that includes our Veterans. I hope (and pray) we get leaders equal to the quality of our troops that are put in harms way by incompetent civilian leadership every single day.