In the beginning, when I decided to create this blog, my “agenda” was to chronicle turning 65. In my mind, I was still relevant, at least in the work-force I thought, and felt undervalued in my current circumstance. A blog would allow for a place to rant & rave about such things if only to myself. It started late-December 2019, ramping up to January 1st, which was my 65th birthday. My plan, or goal I suppose, was to publish a weekly entry. I did this mainly to force myself to be steady and consistent, rather than loose or haphazard. 2020, like 2019, offered promise and if I put my collective thoughts and ideas together, I would certainly find that career opportunity for an employer that saw the value in my experience. Again, this was my best effort of wearing my heart on my sleeve. This martyr attitude continued until mid-March, when other, more pressing issues put life into perspective. By April, it was becoming clear that life was changing rapidly and would likely be changed forever. One such epiphany was realizing the career that I was so sure was being undervalued, may disappear completely, or go through such dramatic change that my original fight for “more” ( money, status, opportunity…) was disappearing day by day. At this point, my focus shifted too. I felt it was healthier in expressing opinion or contemplating life rather than complaining about it. My manifest was still documenting my journey per se, but now it had become being 65 (or 66 now), not as a survivor, but an active participant.

Choosing a topic.

Our world offers (or forces…) so many choices of things to talk/argue/complain about. It has made me at least, increasingly numb at times about seriously important issues. In the beginning, it was generally political. (Insert your view here, and shout down the other side.) If that weren’t enough, pick any crisis. Covid, and it’s subcultures-vaccination, mask-no-mask, stimulus, etc. Not to forget climate change, shootings, Afghanistan, immigration, inflation and homelessness. Like a “Greatest Hits” album, most of the hits are included, but feel free to write in the tragedy I forgot, because there are plenty. I feel like I’m riding in a car speeding down a freeway in a blizzard and the driver keeps their eyes closed tight. I express concern and am told not to worry, everything will be fine as we keep flying down the road—eyes shut. Maybe my driver thinks that if he pretends a calamity isn’t really there, or it can’t see us if his eyes are closed, we are good. As a kid, a million of something was hard to imagine. Years later, billion became the new norm, but still a little challenging to envision. Now, trillion is our new number. This number can refer to corporate profits or stimulus plans, you choose. It is hard for me to comprehend the printing machine required to print all those $100 bills. I would be happy to be the ink salesperson though…

Choosing a topic 2.0

My reading habits range from bit-size magazine articles, to lengthy novels. I may go a month where my only non-work reading is on Youtube, or the digital magazines I receive monthly. After so much of it, my brain feels starved and starts sending guilt hormones, telling me that I have been wasting time. For penance, I started picking up random books that looked interesting at estate sales. What harm is there in spending $2 on a book rather than $35? None of course, and if I didn’t like it, just donate it! These books will likely be either from a favorite author, or favorite genre. My favorite genre is history, American history primarily and a favorite author is David McCullough. I have read many of his books including 1776, Truman, John Adams and the Wright Bros. so finding a copy of ‘The Greater Journey’ for $2 was a no-brainer. The premise is telling the story of Americans in Paris from 1830’s through the end of that century. The stories of great people passing through Paris is quite entertaining and offers a well-versed and detailed story line of what Paris and it’s people, suffered through. The “suffered” was staggering and heart-wrenching. This last part I was totally naive about going into this book. I was just expecting exciting historical events and how they related to these famous Americans. Which leads me to explaining why I love history and also why I need history. As through history, in my lifetime we humans have experienced great and terrible tragedies. Most of which, I was uncertain what the outcome would be and how it would effect humankind. This becomes more debilitating when you have children you are responsible for. Since 9/11 the pressure on our psyche has been unimaginable. Cue history. With all the bad there is also good. Reading McCullough’s work has become therapeutic for me, but more importantly, gives me hope. It shows that even as man is cruel, greedy and self-serving, there are those that wish us well. The other equally important lesson I’ve reminded myself is not to absorb the news before laying my head on the pillow.

Choosing a topic 3.0

The Other Side Academy (Thrift Store). My wife is a legendary (my word, ok) thrift shopper. She grew up thinking her family had money, mainly because she was able to dress the part and knew no different. Her mom would not allow dressing to their financial situation, and therefore would sew what she wasn’t able to find in the thrift store. She also gave her daughters (two of them anyway) the ability to see quality in everything. So, whether shopping for a table, a vase, or a blouse, it was excellent quality, meaning well-made. In fact, most furnishings in my home are thrift/estate sale finds as are most of my clothes. Exceptions would be personal items and electronics, such as TV’s, computers and phones—pretty much everything else is on the table. I have joined her shopping adventures over the years when I had time or was interested, so maybe 5-10% of the time. Since semi-retiring, I have been her regular co-pilot and find it fun and engaging. She is quite specific where she looks for what. Being from Utah, you would immediately think DI (Deseret Industries) which is a charity arm of the LDS church, as the main stop. Perhaps it’s because that is where they had to shop as kids, and maybe sublimely they really don’t want to be reminded. The main reason is actually simpler-boring-boring-boring! She’s right too. It serves a necessary purpose, but it isn’t stimulating or engaging. Which leads us to our top three (not including estate sales): 3. Assistance League. Jewish charity shop that generally has three employees for every shopper. These ladies love to volunteer. Quality stuff, clothing mainly, at decent prices. 2. Savers. This was #1 forever and still is for clothing and over-all variety. Like a scavenger hunt. 1. The Other Side Thrift Store. This is a program, not a charity. The employees have had extremely difficult lives and have made bad choices. All are ex-prisoners, addicts, or both, that have made a commitment to change for the better. All write letters to the Academy telling their story and why they need to be there. It is peer run so the decisions are made by the students. Who stays and who goes is up to the students. After successfully completing their 2-year stay they graduate and have 100% placement into employment in the community. There is ZERO involvement by any government agency and all funds are raised by their thrift shops. That in itself is reason enough to support them, but they get great stuff, especially furniture, and the staff is incredible! As I watch the news now regarding homelessness and all the reasons behind it, I still exhale deeply and am troubled by it, but also appreciate there is a viable resource I can choose to support that was hiding in plane sight.

Personal topic

My body hurts, aches actually and I’m not sure why. It could be I’ve been a bit sedentary working in my office and not getting much exercise, which is my thought. However, the primary area radiates or pulsates occasionally in my upper right thigh. It is somewhat reminiscent of an earlier hernia, without the bulge, or a kidney stone. I doubt the latter since the pain is tolerable, unlike other kidney stones. My other joints seem achy too, so I do not know. I believe I have a wellness checkup soon, so we’ll see. Of course for the last 18 months any hint of illness immediately sent up red flags screaming “Covid”! My respiratory system is fine other than my seasonal allergies and all the damn smoke from the California fires, so I really doubt that diagnosis. It also could be…wait for it… getting old. At some point I will have to acknowledge this. Actually, I think I have acknowledged that fact—I just fail to be willing to accept it.