First a little context. I am a fan of genealogy—no, actually I love genealogy and watch every show I can find. Initially it was curiosity about people looking for answers. Maybe they were adopted or maybe they were looking for an unknown parent like I was. Sometimes the results were happy, sometimes sad and occasionally profound. After watching these different shows for several years, I was so sure I had a great story, I sent a request to Long Lost Families. They will love it! I waited and waited. “Too bad for them” I thought, “I’ll find him myself” and I did. After, I would never miss a genealogy show because now, I had a connection. I tell this story to show how important these programs were and still are to me. One on these programs in particular that has stood the test of time is “Finding Your Roots” on PBS. I was fortunate enough to hear the host, Henry Louis Gates Jr. speak at a genealogy convention called Roots Tech in 2018. He is a “Rock Star” as they say. This program continues to be one of the main reasons I subscribe to PBS. We always watch it together as a family; myself, wife Lisa and her 92-year-old mom. We generally like his guests, some more than others, but they all have a history and a story. One recent guest was Nancy Pelosi. To say my mom is not a fan is an understatement. She was born Republican and will die that way too. Lisa and I chuckled when she was introduced, thinking mom would throw her hands in the air, take off her headphones and leave. She didn’t budge or even groan. She never commented about it either way, but sat still the entire time. The common thread throughout is the stories are American from every different ethnic perspective and a tremendous way to learn about our past however painful. As we settled in to watch the current episode, mom got up and left without explanation. She is finalizing the distribution of a long-term project of a family cookbook so maybe that was the reason. She is also bigoted but will not admit to that. I want to believe she left for the former. The first guest was Pharrell Williams, followed by Kasi Lemmons. Both interesting with compelling stories as usual. As each story unfolded we could quickly see that the interview with Pharrell was becoming deeply personal, more so than any episode in memory. Henry Louis Gates Jr. began reading from the personal diary of Pharrell’s great-great aunt, a slave who recounted in detail the horrific struggles they faced everyday, including rape and the selling of family members. The face and demeanor of this talented, soft-spoken and articulate (he spoke like a poet) young man started showing the extreme pain and anguish of learning how his ancestors suffered. The pain was so great, he halted the interview, returning a month later to finish. It is not uncommon for me to shed a tear while hearing these stories but in Pharrell’s case I wept. Lisa and continued pausing the program to talk about what we were seeing. The conversations became longer between the pauses as we tried to grasp what he must be feeling. My personal epiphany came while recalling the full-page family tree in the front of mom’s newly printing family cookbook. It happily had the name of a revered member of the clan attached to a branch, populating an entire tree. It represented three generations worth of recipes. I started picturing that same family tree, only this time the names on the upper branches were slaves. How would I feel? I put my face in my hands when it finally hit me— the surnames of many slaves were directly from the slave-owners. So the names in that tree weren’t really even their own, those were lost to time. The final indignity was the white DNA they carried was most likely from an African ancestor being raped. I could see it all on Pharrell’s face, every bit of it, and I cried.

I wish every white person could see that episode while viewing their own family tree for reference. Maybe the timing was just right for us that particular night I don’t know, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since Tuesday when it first aired. I also wish every person would watch “Finding Your Roots” with an open mind. Regardless the individual profiled, all our ancestors have suffered in one fashion or another and here we all are. We are no better or worse, just different.