Oddly satisfying to complain about something other than COVID for a change.

As I recline in this Relax the Back chair with a fresh ice pack situated on my lower back, I shake my head that a decent ( and expensive) bed could cause such pain and discomfort. I think back to our honeymoon almost 40 years ago; we camped in Yellowstone Park, sleeping on the ground in a small tent. We stayed for a week and it rained every night adding cold and damp humidity to the hard and uneven tent floor. Other than a few creaks we shook it off and were absolutely fine. Several years later when our boys were little we camped the same way in the same place but this time the pops and creaks lasted through breakfast so while it was tolerable, we decided we were done sleeping on the ground. Granted, it has been many miles since then but to sleep in a state-of-the-art bed and wake up crippled is more than a little annoying. It isn’t just this bed either. Over the last several years, Lisa and I have alternated between who wakes up in the most discomfort. Generally I could do a few exercises and stretches and be about 85-90% which at my age is a blessing I suppose. The bed prior to this was also an expensive bed that had resided mostly unused at our family cabin. We had slept on it numerous times and commented often how comfortable it was so when we were ditching our latest and formerly excellent mattress (Casper), we decided on this one. Initially it was great, and for several months there were few complaints. Gradually however, Lisa’s back became more painful every morning until she couldn’t take it and refused to sleep on that mattress. We have a portable Coleman cot that we utilize when needed so I set it up in the living room. It has an air mattress that can be easily refilled as needed and she found it more tolerable than our mattress. She slept there for several weeks while we explored our bed options. Talking to a friend/neighbor, he mentioned they had just purchased a Sleep Number bed and loved it. We had been thinking about that brand, so with his recommendation we decided to look into them. Visiting the Sleep Number store was interesting, especially the layout. It is kind of similar to shopping for a new vehicle; good, better and best of a particular brand. Not like bouncing from Posturepedic to Serta to Tempurpedic. Our salesman had us lie on a variety of their beds to determine which was most comfortable; this was after we had determined our setting preferences such as flat or slight elevation and firmness. Mine was 80 and Lisa was 45, which could explain why we rarely experienced a similar level of comfort in the same bed. Could this be one of the reasons old TV shows always had the couple sleeping in separate beds? Of course not—the sensors were prudes, but it makes me wonder—were they actually ahead of their time in this respect. After this experience we were confident the Sleep Number would be the answer. Say hallelujah! How could all that tech be wrong? Being able to adjust everything from an app on your phone was pretty cool, and reviewing your daily sleep numbers were interesting—at first. I became suspicious when I could have a restless night and still have a score of 78 and what I thought was a good nights sleep and get a score of 10. Finally, the day my back spasms started I got a score of 94 the evening before. Obviously we have differing opinions on was is considered “restful.” I had originally thought there was some science to this but am highly suspect now. We are still in warranty, so Lisa has been working with them on solutions, and in fairness to Sleep Number, they have been stellar. The latest mattress pad provided by them has only exacerbated the problem if that is even possible. I find it amazing that I can sleep well, in no discomfort at all and yet when I try rising to my feet in the morning I cannot stand up straight without shooting pain in my lower back. How can my back get so tied up in knots while sleeping to the point I can barely navigate when I leave my bed? I try any stretch, exercise or pose suggested with little or no relief. We did have one measure of success using a pad that we had on a previous bed that seemed to be acceptable. We had switched it up when receiving the new one from Sleep Number thinking it would be better but it made it worse. We can put the other pad back on of course, but when you spend $8K on a bed should compromise be accepted? I don’t think so either. I never thought myself a bed snob but am finding it an apt description these days.

Adding insult to injury is getting the posture of an eighty-year-old while in conversation with Social Security to start receiving a check AND talking to my insurance agent about adding Part B to my Medicare plan so I can add Part D… When did I turn this old? I just want a good nights sleep.