Hoping for a silver lining…

I can’t help myself from looking. Like so many these days, working more hours from home is my new normal. I am luckier than many, being “essential” gives me an excuse for being outside, even if its only for 3-4 hours. When home though, there are only so many emails to read and Zoom meetings to attend before I wander. It gets worse if you attempt multitasking; on the desk sits the laptop next to the Mac while I cradle my iPhone. There are plenty of heart-warming stories to catch my attention but its news of the economic apocalypse that reels me back…and scares the hell out of me. This whole thing reminds me of averting your eyes during a proverbial train wreck-as much as you try to look away it can’t be done!

This is my third attempt at writing this blog entry. As I began, the protests to “Open the Country” were spreading with one scheduled this past weekend in Salt Lake City. I empathized with them, but felt they were negating all that had been sacrificed to “flatten the curve.” “Surely they had someone close that they worried might catch the virus” I thought. Then I considered it may be political; engineered by a specific party. The more I pondered, the more I wrote. I read and reread, revising this and rewriting that. None of it felt right, so it sat in “Draft.” It isn’t intentional but I was being judgmental and truth is, at some point I would run out of money too. I finally began to understand people wanted as much as needed to get back to work. Some of us are concerned about elderly family and will continue to be prudent in how we navigate the outside world, also there are those faced with paying rent and putting food on the table. In addition, you have families required to work from home while homeschooling their children 24/7. One more thing to be grateful for, no young children at home. So, yes there are thousands, millions even that desperately need the money but Americans inherently want to work too.

When I began this blog on December 27, it was to chronicle my journey through 65. I was unsure how long I wanted to work beyond the traditional retirement age and hoped the process of blogging would aid in the decision making. I started writing several years ago and quickly learned to appreciate its therapeutic benefits. Working through family situations or trying to explain long-dormant emotions became a challenge to find the proper word or phrase. There was also the odd facination that someone else may actually read it. The pandemic has driven the story in directions I could have never imagined. Every path forward will have unknown and unimagined challenges; and likely opportunities if I look hard enough. But while this story percolates I daydream about getting a hug from my kids and getting a haircut.