Navigating the world on the eighth floor.

My mom will be 92 May 12th. My wife and I share a condo with her and have for the last several years. Over our 39 years of marriage she has lived with us on three other occasions in three different states. Each time has been on my invitation which may not seem strange, except perhaps that I am actually the son-in-law. That is another story for another time; I just wanted to establish we have a long and close relationship and have forever.

Her life has been full with many challenges and even more rewards. She grew up during the depression but did not suffer like most; her father was considered the wealthiest man in town and was able to provide a very comfortable life for her and her seven siblings. She married at eighteen and quickly started a family. Her father provided their first home, so again there was little anxiety or worry over finances. Her husband meant well but his schemes to acquire wealth never came to anything other than put a strain on the family finances. During her childhood she had developed a keen eye for quality and had been taught many homemaker skills including cooking and sewing. These skills became increasingly important because appearing affluent to their friends in the congregation was of upmost importance. She was able to outfit her children in beautiful clothes that she sewed and prepare gourmet meals with simple and inexpensive ingredients. She also learned how to shop for quality in thrift stores too and passed these gifts on to two of her daughters (one being my wife.)

After 31 years of marriage they divorced and she found herself on her own-the first time in her life she was alone. During this period her oldest daughter was starting a business and asked her for some start-up capital; $5,000 to be exact. It was a wise investment because she receives that amount back ten-fold every year in dividends. So for her almost 92 years, there was a period of emotional abuse and sometimes sketchy finances with her husband, but even then she was protected and never burdened with making money to survive or the effects it has on regular people. She has always been sheltered from everyday reality which is why our conversation about Coronavirus (COV-19) this week has been so enlightening.

The story of the virus is being documented in unprecedented ways. From the collapse of the Stock Market to the closing of virtually every business related to travel, entertainment, hospitality and sports, the World has come to a grinding halt. Hundreds of thousands have been told to work from home, while many associated with the above affected businesses sit at home without a paycheck. Everyone is in a daze as they buy up every last roll of toilet paper and clean out store shelves. The only thing we saw unaffected was hot sauce and cookies for some odd reason. The government will catch-up on test kits and a vaccine will eventually be discovered making some researcher(s) crazy rich, but until then we wait.

Mom sees the world through the news, our interpretation of life outside our condo and her life experiences. I am 65 and have never experienced anything remotely close to this. I have lived through hurricanes where stocking up on supplies was critical, and understandable but the level of self-isolation and fear associated with this virus is surreal. She grew up wealthy and protected entirely from the outside world during the depression so her frame of reference for being jobless and homeless is more like being in the center of a idyllic snow-globe; isolated from the crowds yet on full display for them to loathe your situation.

Our conversation about current events started simply enough; I stated my opinion that the global economy will suffer because of the catastrophic losses on Wall Street and around the world, so we need to be mindful of our expenses and cut back on non essential or extravagant purchases. I went on to explain my idea for updating our condo front door. Our ancient knob could not be rebuilt or replaced and because the backset was 7″ (normal is 2-1/2″ or so) we have to change everything. We had also just upgraded our communal entryway and needed to update our front door esthetics. Instead of replacing it with a new door we would upgrade the hardware and paint it, saving $1,500-$2,000. She looked at me confused. I expressed my concern over current events and thought it wise to limit expenses like this and assumed she would understand. We had the skills necessary to upgrade it and it would look nice-at least until be decided to change the door. She looked at me again and this time offered to pay for it. “Thank you, but no” I answered. Again I gave my perception of the future for reference. I explained the losses companies were experiencing-how the travel, entertainment, hospitality and sports industries had literally shut down throwing millions into possible unemployment. “They should have food storage” was her innocent and naive answer. I continued explaining all the bills that would be coming due; home/rent, vehicle, shelter, food and everything else. She looked back still not comprehending the gravity of it all. I was becoming frustrated. How could she not grasp this? After a minute and several deep breaths I attempted to see things from her perception. She has a child like innocence because for the most part she has never had to fend for herself. She could relate to the challenges of raising a family with limited funds and a less than supportive spouse, but she never was the sole provider for a household. She has never been without. She also had only recently began contemplating minorities and the difficulties they face while keeping our country running. Her’s was a life of B&W 60’s TV shows or maybe even Disney and now being expected to embrace Netflix as a new reality.

Our children are grown and we have no grandchildren so we have little anxiety about that but am sympathetic to others and their situation. For whatever odd reason I am more fearful of the economic future than the Coronavirus. If there is a “blue-sky” option I hope it is an opportunity for a cultural “reboot” towards a more civilized society. For now I will do everything I can to continue protecting my 92-year old little girl.